“They Took My Toy!” – Why Conflict in Preschool Is Actually a Good Thing

“They took my toy!” is something we hear often in a preschool classroom. While it may sound like a problem, moments like these are actually a very important part of children’s development.

Between the ages of three and five, children are still learning how to interact with others. They are developing language, understanding emotions, and figuring out how to share, take turns, and express their needs. Because these skills are still emerging, conflict is both natural and expected.

These everyday disagreements create valuable learning opportunities. When children are supported through conflict, they begin to learn how to use words instead of actions, how to listen to others, and how to find simple solutions. They start to understand that others have feelings too, which helps build empathy and stronger social connections.

In the classroom, we approach conflict as a teaching moment. Rather than solving the problem for the children, we guide them through it — helping them name their feelings, explain what happened, and consider possible solutions. Over time, children gain confidence and begin to handle these situations more independently.

It’s important to remember that conflict does not mean something is going wrong. In fact, it often means children are practicing essential life skills. Just as they learn to write their names or count numbers, they are also learning how to cooperate, negotiate, and build relationships.

At EISB, we support children in developing these social and emotional skills every day. With guidance and patience, children learn that even challenging moments can lead to growth.

So the next time you hear, “They took my toy,” you can be reassured — something important is being learned.